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Postwood's Pizza Hut History
8/14/1

The history of me and Pizza Hut does not go way back.

You may ask yourself, �How on earth did Postwood grow up in the U.S. of A. and not eat at Pizza Hut?�

I was born into a very Pizza Inn family. In the late 1970s, when pizza joints became all the rage due to the mafia influence not burning down all competing [and inferior] pizza joints, we would go to Pizza Inn.

I was almost run over in a Pizza Inn parking lot. But that is another story. Even another story is how the alternator of our crappy GM converted diesel Oldsmobuick fell off in the Pizza Inn parking lot.

But this is about Pizza Hut.

Once upon a time, Aisai and I went to Pizza Hut and got the pizza pigout bar and it was substandard and they charged us for refills of our drinks and we never went back. The End.

Ok, that was part one of the trilogy. I was probably sucked in by the fact that they had a pigout bar in the first place. This was in the time period where I was gaining my married weight.

Christine, my niece, really likes to eat at Pizza Hut after church on Sunday. I resisted. I was still way off substandard pizza from the Gatti�s that finally closed.

Christine dyed her hair red recently and I wanted to swing by after we ate out last night, but we got the answering machine when we called. Since today was the first day of school [poor little slaves], they were probably out buying the dregs of what Hel-Mart had out.

And speaking of Hel-Mart [Wal-Mart, duh], the topic of whether they had bridal stuff came up recently. Though they don�t have bridal gown quality fabric or anything like that, they do have some little fru fru stuff like ever-so-lame boquets, etc. And you could cater a reception with the turtle cheesecakes, etc, in the freezer section. My groom�s cakes [yes, plural. I got married. I had to gain weight.] were turtle cheesecakes from Sam�s, Hel-Mart�s evil twin.

Oh, yeah, Pizza Hut.

So, Christine got her wish about a month ago and we went to Pizza Hut after church and it was really good. Not only that, they had a jukebox with songs I liked, but many I didn�t.

The horrible thing about this jukebox is that if no one puts any money in it, it will start playing the most popular tracks off the CDs it has. I had to stop this the first time we were there and I put Marooned and Cluster One off Pink Floyd�s Division Bell. Also something else that I don�t remember, but also as minimalist as you can get.

On my personalize pan pizza, I had bacon, onions, and black olives�hmmm, no, that is what I had this time. I dunno what I had then. Something similar.

Ok, so that�s step two, where I go grudgingly to Pizza Hut. Step three is when I gladly go to pizza hut, whoo hoo.

So we went this last Sunday, even though Christine wasn�t there. I played Light Up My Room by the Barenaked Ladies, The Book by Sheryl Crow, and Invisible City by The Wallflowers. I only had a buck on me [we paid with the check card].

Hmm, a Pizza Hut history sounded a lot more interesting in my head than it did typed out. But that�s it. All the Pizza Hut that I�ve had. Don�t say you didn�t learn anything today, because�

If a bee stings you, don�t pull the stinger out since it has a small venom pouch on the end of it that the bee wants you to squeeze into yourself. Take a credit card or knife and scrape the stinger off your skin. If a bee ever stings you and leaves a stinger, it was a honeybee. They are the only kind that leave their stingers. Bees always travel in straight lines when traveling (rather than foraging), so if you are running from a pack of them (since the stinger also have a pheromone marker that says �Sting this�), it is good to run around the side of a house.

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