Microwave Prejudice
8/15/1

I don�t have a microwave because�[drumroll please]

�I�m not that fond of popcorn and I can boil water on the stove.

Oh, and microwave food is nasty. The vibration of the little water molecules [and all other polar molecules, I believe] breaks down the nice proteins and whatnot that I like the flavor of. I�m very sensitive to it.

Meat is the worst. People who microwave meat are bad, evil people.

I�ve been over at Aisai�s mom�s house and we got Barbeque from either Gibson�s or Mr. Barbeque [the one near the D-home] and since it took a while for Tom and his fambly [misspelling intentional] to show up, Aisai�s mom�

[prepare yourself]

�ruined the barbeque by microwaving it. AaaAAAAaAAaaAAaaaaAaaaA!

We used to have a microwave, but I only used it for non-protein containing things: Popcorn and heating water/coffee.

I do miss the ability to make popcorn in the microwave, but then again, we have one at work, so no biggie. Besides, Jiffy Pop is such a freakish treat.

Now, some mutants I know cannot detect meat that has been microwaved. And I�m not talking TV dinner type stuff where they put all sorts of stuff in it to cover up the taste that changes. I mean if these people were given a chicken breast that had been cooked from start to finish in a microwave, they wouldn�t puke.

Oh, the freakish taste. It�s so wrong.

It reminds me of that baboon that got turned inside out in The Fly [Jeff Goldblum Version].

And Aisia, my beloved wife, told me that my new office lunch idea was gross. Ok, yesterday I had some bumblebee tuna and shin cup ramen. The tuna was so good, it made the noodle seem a little weak. So I was thinking, what kind of bread type thing stores well and is in the same way that I like things is.

Am I making up my own grammar or something? Think I so Yes, probably.

Tuna, right, wrapped in a tortilla, with hot sauce on it. Hot cha!

And, by having tuna, I�m literally eating Can o� Food. Huzzah!

Oh, and I think I need to look up what Tuffy are, fish wise. I don�t think those things are guppies. And I need to look up the address of the place we�re staying near Nawlens so I can find cool stuff nearby at yahoo yellow pages, which oddly doesn�t work on my IE. I have to open the redheaded stepchild of browsers�I shall not say the N word.

And speaking, by implication, of racism, D-Ratstrangler got back from South Alabama [didn�t they nuke that place yet, or ship it into space?] and he told his story about the dirty Indian hotel they booked. The term dirty was used once while he harped on and on about Indian this and Indian that.

I mentioned to Labman later, mockingly as if I was talking to D-Ratstrangler, �Oh, so you�re from Hartselle? Let me mark my map.�

Now, they do have those cute little cube microwaves, but we�re low on counter space.