New Orleans 2001 Day 5: Tezcuco & The Animals
9/28/1

The alarm went off, or did it? Aisai got up before me and took a shower and I got up grudgingly and with no real interest of the waking world. Shower shower, pack pack pack. I showered and we packed up our stuff. I was quicker about packing and getting ready.

Aisai had made some orange breakfast sweet rolls when I was in the shower. I microwaved some water and made instant cappuccino. We checked and rechecked what we had packed. Aisai somehow seemed to fret about things and take time where I couldn't see time being taken.

We checked out, which was as simple as handing the keys back over. Now we were bound for the Global Wildlife Center, which has animals running around and stuff.

The drive was pleasant, we started by listening to ... we can't remember. Hmm, how irritating.

[�We listened to Filter � Title Of Record, then The Doors �The Doors, on the way to the wildlife place� � Future Postwood.]

I'm writing this sitting on the bed at Tezcuco. It's nice. Very old stuff and everything is made of wood. I've made myself some coffee and I had to set the mac up on a bedside stand since there is no table or chairs here.

We pulled over at one of the exits after the Causeway and I got some instant cappuccino from one of those instant cappuccino machines they have at convenience stores. Not far from there, we saw a billboard for a place that sold trailers called Cretin Homes. I kid you not. Louisiana continues to snatch its reputation from my liking it. I have to say that Louisiana is a better state overall, than Alabama. However, they tend to embrace their redneckism quite a bit more than Huntsville does. In Huntsville, rednecks are those who live outside the city. There isn't that whole NASCAR thing constantly. I just don't get that.

The animal park was amazing. When we first pulled in and went over the cattle guard, we had to go really slow since there was a herd of about 70 or so deer of different kinds crossing the dirt road to the complex ahead of us. There were two of the big trains of seats pulled by a tractor full of kids. By the time we got in, we eventually had to assert ourselves with the deer, the kid filled transports were gone and we were told to get onto a nearly empty one.

The tickets were a $10 donation each, but we also bought two cups of food and made a dollar donation above the $20 so that we could get a sticker. It wasn't phrased that way, but I saw the sticker when she asked if we'd like to donate a dollar extra to the "Get An Onsite Vet" fund.

The animals were amazing. There were so many kinds and so many individual animals. It was well worth it. We didn't get to see the baby giraffe that was born last week, but we did see the baby llama that was born yesterday right in front of the two o'clock tour.

First we saw deer, tons of deer. Let's see if Aisai can remember what kinds since I can't...

...Fallow deer, "Creeka" deer...

Those are the only deer she remembers that we saw first thing. She started naming stuff from later on, but I'm doing this chronologically.

After a little deerness and some zebra, which we aren't to feed except by throwing the food as far as we can, [The zebra bite people], we saw the camels. Oh, camels like to eat food. I got some good pictures, I hope.

After the camel we got a glimpse of the giraffes that weren�t going to come around since (a) the camel were around and they don't get along and (b) they had their baby recently.

Oh, we saw some more stuff before "the cows", I don't remember what. Some big antelope type things that would come up and you could feed them out of your hand, but you weren't supposed to. I forgot this a few times.

The "cows" were some bison, some longhorn cattle, and some kind of asian cattle which had knocked up most of the female bison and so they had lots of beefalo also. The cows, rather than dumping food on the ground, you'd actually pour your food down their mouth as they begged horribly. It was shameful begging, but it allowed you to get some good pictures. These pictures better come out.

I started shooting with 200 speed and then, thankfully, went to 400. Unfortunately I took so many pictures that I had to dip into the 800 speed that I was saving for tonight at the plantation. But let's not get ahead here.

From the cows, we went to an area with lots of small antelope things. And more deer, deer from all over the globe, and we can't remember where from or their names. I know we saw some Chinese deer that were very cute and dark brown. The best antelopish things we saw were definitely the blackbuck deer from India.

If I've ever mentioned my Kudu horns to you, they aren't kudu, they are blackbuck. The blackbuck males have black backs, that is, if they are The Man. When they fight, the winner of the fight gets a big testosterone charge and it changes the hairs on his back so they are blacker. So, the darker the back, the more powerful the male. We saw one that was very pale and bony. He stayed away from the rest of them. Sad.

There was also the really messed up deer with a broken antler and a limp. It even appeared that another deer male of his kind was escorting him out of the area.

The Global Wildlife Park has 900 acres and all their stuff wanders around together. That is why they have no ostrich or emu, because those birds are jerks.

We came around to the llamas, which were trying to keep away since they had a new baby, but once we got close and started throwing food, they came around and ate out of our hands. Aisai and I ended up buying three more cups of food since two cups isn't really all that much. I could have spent $10 alone feeding cows.

I forgot to mention one breed of deer type thing. It's like the rarest and most endangered deer and they didn't come close to the transport. There are only 3000 in the world and 50 are there at the place.

After that, which was very enjoyable and I highly recommend, we hit the road.

At exit 40 on I-12 we stopped at the Arby's. This was one of those multi-combo stores. We ate and I went over to see how the internet machine worked. Twenty-five cents a minute. I bought four minutes and looked at my mail. Tons of junk and about four real email messages. Some dude has a copy of Human Bullets, a 1911 edition according to him, for $7 currently at ebay. I'll wait until I can pick up a copy for cheaper. I have the 2000 printing, but it was out of print for 90 years. I thought that it's last printing in the US was 1909.

Aisai used the calling card to try to call her mom. Now, I specifically bought this card since it had no pay phone surcharge and no connection fee. It has one or the other, since about 20 minutes of our card disappears every time we call anywhere. Aisai's call, which didn't connect, killed the card. We put another dollar in the internet machine and I sent her mom an email.

We drove some more...

Oh, I remember that we listened to The Doors - The Doors on the way to the wild animal park. Then we listened to Paul Simon's greatest hits [or whatever it's called] and then Aisai picked out Elastica. I couldn't stand the plinkyness, so we put in Hole - Celebrity Skin, but it skipped [I got it off half.com for nearly nothing because of those scratches, bummer]. Then we put in Radiohead - Kid A, which is starting to grow on me.

We got on I-10 which was full of construction and then took exit 79 to Tezcuco. We passed where we'll be eating shortly on the way in, The Cabin.

There was a little minor confusion when we first got here. The guy painting the steps of the office told us to go to the gift shop. We went over there but actually entered the African American Museum next door since the gift shop was locked. The gal in there told us that the gift shop was sometimes locked and for us to go to the office. We went to the office, but since the guy was painting, we'd have to go around back. Around back we ran into a gal who said we needed to go to the gift shop, and that she knew that it was unlocked now since she saw the lady unlock it after she saw us try to get in. So we got our key from the lady at the gift shop. Aisai then couldn't get the door open. I did. When I couldn't at first, I said, "Man, we're really batting zero here, aren't we."

That catches you up. My back is hurting from typing with no back support. There is also a mirror facin gme. I forget what I look like a good deal of the time. I look old and serious. Aisai often says that I look really serious. Hey, I generally am serious, except if you're one of the people that I goof around with. My face is a little burnt and today I wore my sunglasses so I look a little raccoony.

...

We just got back from The Cabin. And, hey, raccoony nothing...I just had a giant pimple appear on my forehead within one hour. Hmmm.

The food at The Cabin was wonderful. I had blackened redfish with etouffe with sides of cole slaw and red beans and rice. The slaw wasn't brilliant, but the rest was.

I commented to Aisai that the food down here is really good, but when you're not in this region and you get some blackened food, they really go berzerko with the seasoning and really mess it up. Aisai had the ribeye with slaw and fries. We both shared a slice of buttermilk pie, which I had never heard of before either. It's like pecan pie with less sugar and no pecans.

And speaking of pecans, when we first showed up at Tezcuco there was a lady picking up pecans from the trees that line the entrance. But, far more interestingly, there was Little Huey, the [rodent] [illegitimate child] of Tezcuco.

Note: Changes were made in the above paragraph at Aisai's insistence.

I first saw Little Huey when I was looking around the room for an outlet near something relatively desklike. He was sitting on the ground, making some disrespectful noise and his grandmother came over to him. She was holding a stick, but didn't look like she was about to beat him [though we all know she'd love to], and Little Huey made his best pig squeal and put his hands up as if to fend off a swarm of bats. Or Grandmas with baseball bats. Grandma turned around and walked away. They were too far away for me to see if she rolled her eyes. Little Huey immediately stopped his act and went back to his overweight, destructive child routine.

I know he wasn't dressed like Pugsly from The Adams Family, but my mind is saying, "Oh, he was. He really was. And if not, he should have been."

Aisai and I witnessed further Little Huey behavior when we went out to the car to get something. Little Huey was running around and Grandmother said, "Huey, if I have to come after you you're getting a spanking." By the time she finished, Little Huey was out of sight among the cottages.

We're staying in the room called Convent Left. It's in the Convent House, and is the furthest left of the three rooms. We think there are people staying in the far right room, but besides that, the plantation seems deserted. Well, except for the Night Office which has a Dish Network dish on top of it. I'll take some pictures tomorrow when we do the tour at nine. They'll be bringing us breakfast between eight and nine, so I figure I'll set the alarm for eight and put some jeans on while Aisai takes a shower.

My notes on a paper towel say, "Little Huey. Nice Houses. Chem Plants. Dupont Tank Farm Next Door. Turned @ it. Mac Thinks It�s Aug 17, 1956." What all that means, besides the obvious pig squealing miscreant's name being there, is that as we were coming up to the plantation, there were lots of big houses under construction and several around that were less than ten years old in really nice subdivisions. Then we got near the chemical plants, which explains where everyone is getting their money. We actually passed Tezcuco, since it's nestled between the iron or aluminum ore place and, I think it's really a Chevron since Dupont is down the road. Well, in any case, I missed Tezcuco when we first came in and had to turn around there.

And while I'm gabbing, Louisiana is like Tennessee in that it puts really low speed limits since it assumes that everyone will speed. I don't speed. It's breaking the law. I enforce the law as part of my job. In any case, I have been speeding since the locals are trying to kill me down here. Actually, New Orleans, or more accurately Westwego, had reasonable speed limits. But, wherever we are now, doesn't.

...

Oh, and the Macintosh, if you haven't read all the entries for the vacation, I've taken my Macintosh Classic II along for the ride. I don't own a laptop. Well, the mac thinks it's August 17th, 1956. I have no idea how to set the time as when I bought this thing for $5 the person who sold it only installed enough of the operating system to check to see if it still worked. It does, and quite well.

Aisai and I just walked around the plantation. It's quite nice. An approximately three year old black cat [with a little white splooch on his chest] started following us around. I kept calling him Spaz since he tried to play it cool so much and really didn't pull it off. We got munched by mosquitoes.

We also saw a gal who was trying to lock her cabin. She's a few outbuildings down from us and I said, "Having trouble with your door too?" She responded, "I think I'm just stupid or something." I let her know that, hey, I had just spent three minutes trying to lock our place.

Man, those mosquitoes munched me.

Look, the mac can paste stats about what I wrote:

Characters: 13472

Lines: 272

Words: 2488

Sentences: 177

Paragraphs: 51

And the stats aren�t accurate anymore since I didn�t do a spell check until I put it on the PC.