Lame 5 Question Entry
Monday, Aug. 25, 2003

These questions were posted by Paper-girl(dot diaryland dot com). She wants to impose some rules about something about answering them, but I�m not really participating in her thing, I�m just stealing them.

Oh, and I will write about real stuff soon, I swear. I�m just a little tuckered out (and not in the Australian sense.)

1. What was the last dream you can remember?

That would be last night�s dream. It was rather medium horrible. Lately I�ve been repeatedly dreaming that I ate chocolate. This is a big deal as it will give me a migraine. In fact, I�m having this dream mainly because last Friday I ruined a good portion of my weekend by seeing if I was still unable to eat chocolate. After all, I ate chocolate all my life until about two years ago when it declared war on me. Well, testing that was just plain dumb.

But that�s not all about last night�s dream..oh, but the very moist chocolate cake was wonderful�but I also killed about seven people. And what really bothers me now it that it didn�t bother me in the dream. And I didn�t hate kill them, I really didn�t have any strong feelings about any of the killings in my dream. When the police took me away, I called to a friend to make sure to have the bodies resurrected by the trial. At the trial, there they all were, the reanimated corpses. I can only assume that I�d go free, as I know none of my zombies would testify against me.

2. What was your favorite book as a child?

I had this love/hate thing going with �Are You My Mother?� which for some reason, I think because of the brand of the publisher, I always assumed was a Dr. Seuss book.

Are You My Mother is about a small bird who falls from his nest while Mom Bird is gathering food. He asks various animals if they are his mother and ends up almost getting killed in an emotionally draining climax on a large steam shovel. It�s a horror story for kids.

Worse, the book teaches that when you�re lost for long periods of time that your parents will be happy to see you. They are, but they�re also mad at you more than they are celebrating your reunitedness.

3. You�re throwing a party! Which five celebrities would you invite (dead or alive, �cause it�s your party) and why?

Hmm, a party you say. Are we assuming that the language barrier doesn�t exist? I�ll have to assume it does, ok. But I do speak some Spanish.

Pablo Picasso, Teddy Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, Frank Zappa, and my girlfriend, Milla Jovovich. I�d like to order the 45 year old Picasso, Presidential age Teddy and Reagan, late 20s Zappa, and current age Milla.

Wait, scratch Milla, I want my cat Zapato.

4. If you had the choice to pick one thing in life to be super good at, what would that be and why?

Wisdom, I could do with some serious wisdom. Look at ol� King Solomon, he did fine. Either that or an amazing sense of architecture.

5. There is a shortage of utensils in the world and everyone is being rationed. What two kitchen utensils would you keep to both eat and cook with?

I�ll take a Chinese soup spoon and a fork. I can sharpen any piece of metal into a knife and I can stir pots with any stick I cut off a tree.

Is a potholder a utensil? Cause I�d need one of those to get the tater tots out of the oven.