That 100 Thing Crap Everyone's Doing
Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2003
1. Eating chocolate will give me a migraine caused by the veins in my brain loosening up.
2. I�m also allergic to crawfish.
3. I�d like to travel more, like, outside los Estados Unidos.
4. The only place I�ve been outside the US was Mexico City on a Medical Mission.
5. I used to always carry a camera with me, but I�ve gotten out of the habit.
6. I think 110 film cameras don�t get the respect they deserve. It really is the best size film for very small cameras.
7. Most pictures I take with my $18 ebayed Jamcam 3 which I�ve added 32 megs of memory to so I can take 130 640x480 pictures at a time.
8. My first digital camera was a Kodak DC25 which I bought refurbished from Kodak for $150. The largest picture it could take was like 467x370 or something weird like that.
9. If I win this billion dollars from Pepsi, I think it might ruin my life.
10. I used to keep a diary of all the stuff that happened back in my early college, living with parents, drinking days. But I zipped it up with a password and I don�t know the password.
11. I�ve never kept a written diary.
12. My mom used to say that someday I�d have kids just as irritating as me. I really hope she�s right.
13. When on vacation, I�ll tend to order a Salty Dog in memory of my Grandfather who always ordered them when we�d go out to eat. They aren�t that good.
14. English is my first language but I can also speak enough Spanish to get by. I can understand when waiters are talking bad about customers in front of them and was told by the people in Mexico City that I speak Spanish very well..
15. My mind can�t be in Spanish Mode and English mode at the same time. If someone comes up to me and I think they�ll be speaking Spanish, I listen in Spanish and when I find out that it was actually English that I wasn�t understanding, it�s too late and I have to get them to repeat it.
16. I was on TV once in my life, to my knowledge. I was handling a rottwieler who had just gotten his eyes operated on. The local TV news wanted Rottweiler footage since some kid had gotten mauled by a chow/lab mix. He was hitting it with a stick.
17. When I played t-ball as a child, I was on the Mountan Gap Black. Our uniforms were black and grey and we won often. When I went to school at Mountain Gap, they were the Raiders. Now they�re the Cubs.
18. The baseball team I played on later was so bad that I was the pitcher. We never won. Dad said he would pay me $10 for every pop fly I caught. One game, against a team which realized I couldn�t catch a line drive, started shooting them at my head. I learned how to be quick that day and got $20. Dad said the deal was off after that.
19. I can�t spot constellations worth crap.
20. I�m not really an outdoorsy person.
21. When I lived at the dorms at UAH, I used to love to watch the airplanes fly by, silently and slowly, as I walked to class at night.
22. If I were invisible for a day, and I didn�t have any invisible clothes, I might not leave the house at all.
23. If I could meet with anyone from the past, I would be tempted to meet Jesus. But I might wimp out and go for Theodore Roosevelt.
24. If I could have any upgrade done to myself, ability wise, I�d like a better memory.
25. If I could have any upgrade done to myself, appearance wise, I�d like a more muscular torso.
26. My favorite painters are ol Pablo P and Jackson Pollock.
27. I�ve painted a 6x4.5 foot painting in the style of Jackson Pollock.
28. I don�t own any posters or prints by Picasso or Pollock.
29. I think roses are the most overrated flower and yard plant ever.
30. I used to cook once a week but Aisai got sick of the kind of stuff I made. Though she always thought the food was good. I always made some chicken stir-fry.
31. I�d rather feel too hot than too cold.
32. I kiss my cats on the mouth.
33. When I was single, I usually dated girls who were of average height and weight. I only dated one outside these normal parameters. She was 6 foot tall.
34. I always knew that the girls I dated before Aisai, none of them would I ever think of marrying.
35. Though, now that I know what marriage is like, I think I could have married Christine Burgess and Tracy Johnson, two of my very good female freinds. But only if I was a mormon (ba-dum-ching!).
36. I enjoy buying people presents.
37. I have never been to a surprise party.
38. I was raised a Baptist but left that when I was a teen since some aspects of their doctrine didn�t make sense. I�m now a member of the church of Christ, which is rather minimalist compared to the more popular denominations. And no, it�s not that cult from Boston.
39. I don�t watch sports on TV anymore.
40. I used to watch WRC Rally racing and Sumo wrestling, but now that Colin McRae�s stuck in a freakin� Ford Focus and both Takanohana and Akebono have retired, I�m just not interested.
41. My wife drives a Ford Focus.
42. I also used to watch the Dallas Cowboys when they made that big comeback in the 1990s. I stopped watching them when they all started turning into degenerate coke-head rapists after Jimmy Johnson was let go.
43. Sometimes when I get excited telling a story, my co-workers will think I�m really furious about it.
44. I have never owned underoos.
45. I have never broken a bone.
46. I have never had a cavity and my wisdom teeth came in straight. When a dentist does a panagram of my teeth, they generally show it around the office.
47. I love music but stopped buying CDs when I started mooching them off the internet. So, yes, the RIAA is right, they are losing money, at least from me. But I always bought my CDs used anyway.
48. I sing to my cats. Mostly Zapato, who really appreciates it.
49. I�ve been to concerts of Rush, Pink Floyd, Paul Simon, and Neil Diamond.
50. And many more that don�t stand out so much.
51. Actually, the two most fun concerts I�ve been to were the Gin Blossoms filling in for Filter at Big Spring Jam and the Barenaked Ladies which I got free tickets to.
52. It is now proper English to be able to end your sentences with a preposition.
53. I�ve never seen one of those neo-hippy extended-jam bands. I don�t really feel the need.
54. Filter, Bush, and Pink Floyd are some of my favorite bands. But I rarely listen to them.
55. My sister took piano lessons and can�t play the piano. I still can�t read music, but due to my taking a music theory class, can sit at a keyboard and plink out some snazzy, though minimalist new age, tripe.
56. I played trombone for one year in seventh grade. I was first chair (the best) in C band (the beginner/worst of our three bands).
57. When I got braces (so those wisdom teeth would come in straight, and get rid of my buck teeth) I wasn�t able to play anymore. So I played art.
58. I have made one audio composition that I�m proud of. It is a 24 minute long environmental sound track representing a 24 hr cycle in a seaside urban setting. I�ve lost the MP3 so I�ll have to rip it off the one CD that has it recorded.
59. I�m employed outside the field I was trained in. Technically, I�m underemployed.
60. I have a lot of bodybuilding knowledge, but I am very lazy.
61. The most I ever weighed was 220. I am 40 lbs lighter than that now, and I feel like I�m a blobbo. It�s just my gutly gut gut. But, really, I am better shaped than nearly everyone I�m around.
62. I don�t know hot to spell narcissism. But, dang it, Microsoft Word will autocorrect it for you.
63. If I keep working at my same job, I�ll get a pension of half my top three years pay. Well, in another 17 years.
64. I�ll only get that money if I don�t work for the city or state here. I�d like to move to either Tampa or Houston (really St. Petersburg or Bayside Houston area), but might move to whatever city my daughter lives in.
65. I don�t have a daughter yet. We are still in the paperchase portion of our adoption from China.
66. I was born in Texas and I like Texas a lot more than I like Alabama.
67. I have three cats and a wife. All were born in Huntsville, Alabama and spent their entire lives here.
68. I really want a dog. The current flavor of the week is a pug.
69. When I worked at a vet, I was bitten really good by a cat and required an injection of antibiotics.
70. My wife wants to get a retired greyhound. I don�t mind this idea, but sometimes they kill cats, and I�d miss raising the dog from puppyhood.
71. I think that enclosed malls suck my life force.
72. I try to buy most things online. Though food and random crap comes from Wal-Mart.
73. I have a Timex Datalink watch that I can synch up with a computer which in turn can by synched up with an atomic clock on the internet. My watch is usually less than 10 seconds off. Most people are off by up to 5 minutes. That�s just disgusting.
74. I�m currently five seconds fast. Check yourself at www.time.gov.
75. I really want a Timex Internet Messenger watch. But not for all the pager-like crap. I want it because it automatically sets the time perfectly off the pager network.
76. In one way, though, that watch would be a downgrade. I have six alarms and six countdown timers on my current watch. The countdown timers are very handy when I am in my walking/running routine (which I�m not doing currently) or when doing sit-ups (which I�m not doing).
77. My walking/running routine is taken from the suggested routine for Navy kids who are about to go to OCS. That webpage also has a nice set of stretches that can be printed out. My sit-up routine is to do 100. Do as many as I can in one minute, then take a minute off, repeat until at 100.
78. I understand chess, but suck at it.
79. I have strong opinions, but realize that I�m often wrong and make adjustments accordingly.
80. I don�t understand how identical twins can have different tastes in food.
81. When I was younger, I would debate people who were wrong about things. Now, I just let life smack them in the face.
82. Before I got my degree in Chemical Engineering, I got one in Rhetorical Theory. Though I felt I was a horrible speech writer, I now realize that most other speech writers suck too.
83. Peggy Noonan was my hero for years. Now she just writes a stupid old column.
84. Though I know how to shape thoughts with the presentation of words, I prefer to come off as an everyman who talks too much.
85. When I say something that I need to apologize for, it might take me a week or so, but I�ll do it. And I�ll have my conscience torturing me the whole time.
86. My Miata is the first car I have ever really taken care of really well. I washed my Saturn, but I would let little broken things that aren�t important stay broken.
87. I�ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffany�s. But I understand that Bruce Lee felt it was insulting to Chinese people, so I�ll probably never see it.
88. I�m concerned about how well I will deal with situations as a father.
89. I look like a badass and get talked down to by uppity people. Well, uppity people who both don�t know me and aren�t scared of me. Boo!
90. I�m afraid of fields of green wheat. Green wheat pollen will send me into anaphylactic shock. I�ve been told that one more time (I�ve had two very strong reactions) and it will kill me.
91. I like lightening storms with lots of wind and no rain.
92. I miss having a good balcony.
93. I�ve only been on top of a very high building once in Houston. Unfortunately the observation deck was not outside, but just a room with glass for walls. Not as impressive.
94. This November, I want to go on one of the skyscrapers that is open on top..
95. My favorite roller coaster is the Viper at Six Flags in Atlanta. It�s a straight line coaster that takes you from 0 to 70 in 3.4 seconds, loops, goes vertical and stalls, does that loop backward, flies backward through the loading area, goes vertical and stalls, and gets jerked to a stop on it�s way through the loading area. It�s 32 seconds long.
96. Close second would be Montu at Sea World in Orlando. Not a suspension coaster, but still dangly feet, which I think is a cheap trick.
97. I�ve ridden the Hulk coaster at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. They were running it too fast that day and it beat the heck out of me. A guy passed out on the one before mine.
98. I read books, fiction, in high school during class and while sitting on the bathroom floor in my apartment when I didn�t smoke in the carpeted areas. I mostly read the internet and magazines now.
99. I smoked about three years and stopped. I smoked Camel Filters, which aren�t some wuss light cigarette. I was able to stop when I got a respiratory infection so bad I couldn�t breathe if I took a drag. This was before I had health insurance. With the benefit of hindsight, I was really, really sick.
100. I feel that the ease at which the physical universe can be modeled mathematically is a proof of the design of the universe in itself.