Dreams and Politics
Friday, Aug. 08, 2003

Last night I had a very long and vivid dream. I think some parts of the dream were influenced by my watching Final Destination 2, and I blame the vividness on the truly crappy Taco Bell that Aisai and I got last night.

Here�s the dream:

There was a big big storm. Not tornado weather really, but that dark grey windy electrical storm type storm we tend to get in November. And then, somehow, I�m in a plane flying above it. The plane has almost a party atmosphere and one of the crew is showing us how the computer controls the plane better than a person. The damping that the computer does is shown to us. He calls a member of the audience to steer the plane some. Yeah, no biggie. Now he�s going to turn off the damping. We crash almost instantly.

But it wasn�t a normal crash. We slid through the air and then smashed into the side of a building. The building was unhurt, as it was little more than a giant parking garage made of smooth concrete walls, but the plane hit on it�s roof and the roof caved in half way, but didn�t squish us. The plane stuck to the vertical wall.

We all started getting sleepy in the cabin. We suspected that there were fumes getting into the plane. I passed out.

The next think you know I�m walking in a very overgrown garden. I think it was a very overgrown version of my Aunt Ina�s house from when I was a kid. Eventually I walked inside and talked with someone and we realized that I was dead.

I tried calling a former girlfriend of mine. I called�but before I started talking I remembered that I was married. Next thing you know I�m eating dinner at a slightly different version of our Guadalajara restaurant. I was with Aisai and two other people. Only two of us at the table were alive, and the waiter couldn�t see us dead people. He kept wanting to put my plate in front of the guy I was sitting next to.

At one point, a group of toughs came in and started making trouble. I identified the leader of the gang as Satan himself. Yep, and he looked just like a younger Woody Harrelson. I called Satan�s bluff and made him lose face. Then I left the restaurant.

That�s all I can remember.

In other news, I�m thinking this Peter Lynd fellow is a hoax possibly. His theory is that there are no increments of time and that our concept of momentum is flawed. However, I�m a little practical in my disagreement that there are no fixed instances in time, as I have taken pictures of them before.

Also in the science news, they�ve discovered a new piece of jargon; Dark Energy. This jargon discovery is the most important jargon discovery since Dark Matter. Dark matter is the way scientists explain that not everything in space is on fire, so we can�t see it all. Dark Energy is a cool way of saying heat that produces no light.

Although the big news, and sure, it�s fun news, but it sure isn�t that important, is that Arnold Terminator is running for Governor of California. However, when one looks at his record, he�s not a conservative, though he�s running as a Republican. He�s more of a liberal spending libertarian. However, it really doesn�t matter what he is as the congress won�t let him do much anyway.

What I like about Arnold running is that it will freak out a lot of the rest of the world, particularly Europe. Oh, the French will throw hissy fits about this. And it�s not just the French that we people in Los Estados Unidos like to annoy. There�s nothing quite like irritating the Germans either. I know we also irritate the Brits with this kind of stuff too, but they�re much more quiet about it. They know that we can just yell, �Oh, yeah. What about Benny Hill?� to shut them up.

The reason the French are being such puckered sphincters at us is that they see the sweet job we did of rebuilding Germany and Japan�s economies after we went to war with them. You can see the documents where they are begging us to kick their butt at www.thesmokinggun.com, but we�ve said, �I wouldn�t waste my time on you.� To which they responded, �Cheekan! Cheekan! Bache! Bache! Bache!�

But it�ll be good to have an actor as the Cali Gov again. Ronald Reagan, set the bar for being a hack actor who done good in politics. Heck, Ronnie did chimp movies. That�s like having Pretzel Boy as your senator. Arnold did better in movies than Ronnie, by far. But they both have that smoothness with the press that Minnesota Freak-Boy Governor Whatshisface doesn�t. Arnie will get new voters to the polls, and that�s always a good reason to feel that democracy is a failure. Please, don�t vote, just keep buying Sprite Remix and wearing Tommy Hilfinger. Maybe there�ll be a new SNL movie out that day and it�ll distract the subhumans.

California should always have an actor as a governor. I think that Joe Pantoliano should be it though. But he�s to NYC for those stinkin� Hummer H2 drivin�, Arugula munchin�, carob-raisin cookie bakin�, Reagan Democrat voters. And I think that Hugo Weaving should be Prime Minister of Australia.

And that Outback Steakhouse�s should expand to AU, so they can be stormed by angry natives and burned. Just like, or at least similar to the way, the French poured apples all over the McDonald�s in France.

A few suggestions:

David Duchovny - Mayor of LA

Robert DeNiro � Senator (R) from New York

Al Pacino � Senator (D) from New York

Al: I would not hesitate for a moment, if you were to try to cut taxes, that I would increase spending.

Robert: Ahhh, my friend. But if you were to try to raise taxes�know this�that I would not, could not hesitate for a moment. I would cut those taxes before you raised them. And cut spending.

Al: You could try to cut that spending�but don�t think that I would hesitate for a moment to raise that spending before you cut it. And raise taxes!*

Bill Paxton � Mayor of some Midwest Town no one cares about

Carrot Top � Next Governor of Minnesota

*Like that scene in Heat.