Somehow I Write About Whitewater Rafting And Floorpisser In The Same Entry
Monday, Jul. 28, 2003
Well, rather than the upper Ocoee which leads into the Olympic course, we did the middle Ocoee. I think writing about whitewater rafting would be, to steal a phrase, like �dancing about architecture.� It was fun. I think I�ll go again in the fall, when it�s cold, cause I�m hardcore. Yeah.
Today, I overslept in a way that I think oversleeping isn�t even the correct word. Now, I did wake up at 6:45 when I was supposed to be at work and call in telling TC that I was exhausted and needed some more sleep. That was cool with everyone. The next thing I know the phone rings and it�s Aisai. Not only that, but it�s also 10:30.
I got into work at 11:15 or so.
I ended up staying up way too late watching the movie Memento. Both TC and Leeann had said that they�d seen it, but they didn�t like it because of the way it played out. I found it to be art with the big A at times. In fact, I think it�s great. That said, I don�t want to see it again for another decade since it messed with me.
There�s only one other film that really messed with me like this before. It was Natural Born Killers. That one really messed with my head. And, I also hated the film. Granted, some of the scenes were really classic, but the overall package, I�ll pass. Forever.
So, after Memento messes with me, I sleep a very long time, and when I�m leaving the house, there�s an object in the street.
Now, there�s a term I use when talking to Aisai. Back when we lived in the hellhole slum we used to live in, Bottom Apples were common outside. What that is, when some lazy piece of crap neighbor changes their baby�s diaper, they fold it around on itself so it�s round. Then, for it to truly be a bottom apple, they have to put it on the ground.
So, some lazy bastard chucked a freakin� dirty diaper into the street in front of my house. When I backed the Miata out of the driveway, I had to tuck the car next to the curb to avoid it. There is no way on earth that I�m going to have the car run over a bottom apple. Yuk.
And speaking of gross biologicals, I keep having �Learn to Flush� experiences. In two different surroundings, I�ve gotten to witness others wastes due to them not flushing. Very irritating.
Another non-flushing thing I hate to see is one small square of toilet paper floating in what looks like a clean toilet bowl. Heck, I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but I know that means that you drippled a little drop of urine onto the seat, then wiped it up with one square of toilet paper.
[Note: MSWord wanted to change Sherlock to Cherokee. That�s pretty good. Cherokee Holmes, at your service.]
I suppose that�s better than leaving the drop, you stinkin� cro-mag. But if you just Learn to Flush, then I�d be blissfully ignorant. And trust me, when using a public toilet, I want to be as ignorant as possible.
At work, we have an issue in front of the urinal (yes, a pun). Rather than go on about it without coming to the point, we have a floorpisser.
Back when Greg was here, we all suspected him. However, when Greg left, the floor didn�t really dry up. Now, I know that when certain people are gone, the floor is less pissy. And the other week, those two were gone that day and we didn�t have any floor wetness at all. So, really, I know who the floor pissers are. However, let me tell you about what I like to call:
FLOOR PISSER�S BIG DANCE
I think it was last Thursday. Before using the urinal, I realized that floorpisser had struck again and modified my footing position so as to minimize ickyness. After I finished, I realized that floor pisser hadn�t just dribbled in his favorite spot, but there were droplets across the floor for about six feet.
I am at a loss to explain what happened to cause this. The fact that I tend to visualize all the things that I think�oh, it�s just not good.
I mean, do they dribble on the floor at home? Freaks.