Cups Not Saucers
Wednesday, Jul. 23, 2003

When I am fully awake in the morning, which is not often, and I am putting on my contacts, I will say the phrase silently in my head �Cups not Saucers.� I�ll do this as I look at my soft contact from the side to make sure that I�m not putting it in upside down, which will either put me into horrible face scratching agony, or merely irritate my eye into a big red blob over the course of the next few hours.

Well, I didn�t do that today. My right contact felt a little oofy, but since I was running late, I figured it was a speck or cat hair or something which my system would take care of.

I�ve never been in the Sister Gooch parking lot. Sister Gooch is an alleged upscale French cuisine joint across the street from a vet. It�s always fun to name restaurants that are next to vets are pet stores, just to make people get that idea of tasty kittens in their minds. In fact, my favorite Vietnamese restaurant is next to a pet store. Worse yet, the pet store isn�t doing very good business either. Yikes.

Well, as I was driving, my eye was really bothering me, so, at a stoplight, I took my right contact out. Then the light changed. Fortunately the Miata was able to claw it�s way up the hill and into the Sister Gooch parking lot in third. (Yes, from a stop. Poor car.) I looked at the contact and realized it was a saucer, not a cup, dangit.

A saucer has edges that face outward, horizontal. That�s what a contact that�s upside down will do. Flip it around and it�ll have those edges facing upward, like a cup. I flipped this and then realized that my hands had put little micro pips of whatnot all over them. Actually, the pips were specks of powdered protein mix.

I put the contact back in my eye. OH THE HORROR THE HORROR!!! I clawed at my face until I could get it out. Ouch. That had hurt.

Aisai has a thing she does. She�ll take a contact and put it in her mouth to clean it off. But she had rigid gas permeable lenses. I don�t. I have soft contacts (non-disposable CQ4�s (or 5s, I dunno)) with Ultimate Nutrition Gourmet Strawberry powdered protein pips on them. Well, here goes nothing.

I put the contact in my mouth and rubbed it against the top of my mouth with my tongue, took it out and looked at it. Looked clean. So, I put it in my eye. Perfect. So, I went to work.

I read someone who jokingly said their Spirit Guide was a puma. Out of all the animals in the world, why does everyone pick the cool animals always. Every person who had or claimed to have a spirit animal thing, it was always some hip to be tattooed type animal. Tigers and wolves and pumas and eagles and bears and yadda yadda yadda. Well, what if my Spirit Guide is one of those rolly polly bugs, huh? I think they rock, man. They have a laid back lifestyle and don�t cause any damage.

I think everyone who seriously thinks that their spirit guide is something cool should have to have their spirit guide be a penguin or rooster or aphid.

Heck, my spirit guide should probably be some large carp, cause I still think the ultimate vacation would be to be a big ol� carp just sitting in the cold, cold water, under the milfoil. Just chillin�.

I�d like to visit being a carp, but I wouldn�t want to live there.