John Fararararah
Monday, Jul. 07, 2003

Many things happened this week but one stands out as more write-about-it-worthy than the rest.

And that thing is not that we saw Terminator 3, which I just wanted to mention, since it was pretty good, but not brilliant or anything. Though I wasn�t expecting brilliant, after all, I was going to see Terminator 3.

This weekend was blessed with good service at restaurants, but that�s not the thing either. But it sure was nice. We went to Waffle House and Ruby Tuesday�s this weekend and both times we had great waitpersons. We also went to Casa Blanca too, on Thursday night (Friday was July 4, no work, for any Aussies or euros reading this). But Casa Blanca has dealt with its problem of too many people showing up by raising the prices. This made our wait only five minutes, which is fine.

We also had to wait at Waffle house, but only for about five minutes there also. I was standing near the juke box, contemplating torturing everyone with songs that I liked, like I used to do at Pizza Hut on the parkway. I�d play Three Days In Rome by Sheryl Crow and similar stuff.

I noticed that the jukebox had Day-O, aka The Banana Boat Song. I commented to Aisai that if they had In The Jungle we�d have the soundtrack to my surgery.

[geeky young Wafflehouse Employee fellow who needs to shave with more accuracy turns and speaks to me]

Geeky Young Wafflehouse Employee: Did you say this had Welcome to the Jungle by Guns n� Roses?

Me: No, I said it had In The Jungle, but I should have called it The Lion Sleeps tonight. Once when I had surgery, they were playing that really loud in the operating room when they wheeled me in. I had commented to them that if the next song was Day-O, which this jukebox has, that I�d complain about inappropriate music. I�ve since found out that that surgeon always uses that song, with the volume a little too loud, for having his patents wheeled in. I think it kind of throws them off and they don�t worry so much.

GYWE: Man, I just got a big case of D�j� vu.

Me: It happens.

GYWE: The Matrix has an explanation for that.

[Very small red flag goes up in my brain with note: �Note: this fellow is odd.�]

Well, unfortunately, I can�t remember all the conversation. But suffice it to say that he kept talking to us. If his comments required me to respond to make polite conversation, I kept it to one sentence made of less than seven words, to let him know I �wasn�t in a talking mood�.

However, we found out in that time that he can�t get off the third level of the playstation game Frequency.

The conversation lasted about two minutes after we had been seated, and then fresh victims came in. It seems that all his conversations fell into the category of causing others to have little red flags raise in their heads with notes like: �Don�t make eye contact, just slowly back away� or �This guy has to be the son of the owner or something.�

The new people showed up and he told the people leaving that they had perfect timing, if only the waitress had cleaned off the table. And let me just tell you now; this guy�s job appeared to be doing nothing. Our waitress played it great and the event was turned into a scene from light cinema like When Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle (but no, it wasn�t an Amile moment or anything).

Our waitress was great at filling the coffee. Also, when I ordered a pecan waffle, side of patty sausage, and a slice of toasted Texas toast, and then I took up her offer of blueberries for my waffle, but on the side, she said that my order sounded pretty good. Aisai copied me, sans toast and blueberries.

The other great dining out moment was at Ruby Tuesday�s. The waiter asked Aisai if she�d like more diet coke. She indicated yes and he went to get the pitcher to pour some more up. He returned without the pitcher and asked if he could borrow Aisai�s glass. As he was reaching for it, I asked �What are you going to do with it?�

I guess you had to be there. The timing worked really well.

There was another thing I was saying this weekend that made Aisai laugh. I don�t remember it right now�Oh�

John Cocktosten, that was it.

I had called her Fletch. See, Fletch, not only being a Chevy Chase movie, was also a dog. Fletch was owned by some people I knew, but you never went in the back yard, because Fletch would jump all over you. Fletch jumped all over you because no one would play with him or go in the back yard. And no one would go in the back yard because Fletch would jump all over you.

Aisai was saying that she felt lousy. I said that she felt lousy because she never exercised. She never exercises because she feels lousy, Fletch.

She started laughing because she remembered Chevy Chase with funny teeth in. Man, those must have been some funny teeth to get a laugh a decade later without actually seeing them again.

My most memorable Fletch stuff, besides the country club scenes, is the airplane mechanics.

�Need to check the ball bearings.�

�Ball bearings?�

�Yeah, you know it�s all going to ball bearings these days. Everyone�s using ball bearings. You guys should read some trade journals.�

Or something like that.

Note: Microsoft Word will suggest �hussies� for �aussies�. Har har har.