Red Rover, Red Rover, Send The Freaks On Over
Thursday, Jun. 05, 2003

I was freaked out yesterday while out �in the field.� That�s the term for not in our office or not in the building. I don�t think I could be in the parking lot and be �in the field.� I think you have to drive.

Me [seeing cow in pasture]: Hey, that�s a great cow.

You: What makes him so great?

Me: He�s outstanding in his field.

Monkey with Drums: Ba-dum ching!

So, I�m slappin� down paint where the utils need to not dig and I see two kids in the front yard of a house. One�s little the other�s medium, maybe six or so. The mom calls out �Justin. Justin, come over here.� Not just once, but about four times as the older kid is gradually thinking about coming over to the side of the house where his mom is hidden by poor landscaping in the form of overplanting. The little kid already showed up. �Justin. Come here, there�s a bird.� Justin gets off his lil� bike and starts walking over. Then mom creeps me out with:

�I think it�s dying.�

Now, isn�t that a wonderful story.

In the news, a German Barbeque Brawl is reported and this paragraph creeps me out:

�In the ensuing melee, the victim's brother, 19, received multiple wounds to his hindquarters from an assailant's thrusts with a grilling skewer. He was later treated in hospital.�

But it get�s pretty fun with this next one:

�Amid the flying fists and hair-pulling, two young women battered a 42-year-old woman on the ground with folding chairs, a man had his leg broken, and two young boys were thrashed with a belt and partially throttled by livid barbecuers, police said. �

You just can�t say �Livid Barbecuers� without brightening someone�s day.

And don�t think I�m totally ignorant of the wannabe vampire who was shot dead in Melbourne yesterday. The blogger that I read who lives in Melbourne, Momo (a low-rent superhero with the standard media job to cover for it (yawn)), has not mentioned it. I�m sure she�s afraid it word gets out that Melbourne has a Hellmouth that her property value would drop.

I should have written about a dream I had that was very vivid yesterday when I still remembered it. I was in Nashville, but the roads were actually set up like they are in Gainesville, FL, if you know what I mean (meaning irritating U-turns rather than intersections). I had both my Miata and the first car I ever owned with me, a 1978 Caprice Classic. Well, all I really recall at this point is that the Caprice started rolling downhill and I couldn�t stop it. Everything was in slow mo and I was running through molasses (figurative) trying to get it. We were in a Wal-Mart parking lot which was totally packed with cars. When the Caprice hit a car, it was a huge wreck. That car slid into the car beside it, parts flew through the air. It was probably very influenced by The Matrix actually. I don�t remember the conclusion of that, but one of the major issues in the dream was that I was out of town and needed to get two cars back. I also didn�t want to leave the Miata in that area unattended. And I think there was some major confusion in a convenience store earlier in the dream.

When I got to work today (no dream), T-Boss was hailing the wonders of the rave drug Ecstasy. He was in the lab talking to Labman and TC. �A lot of people say it makes you horny, but it doesn�t. It just makes you really happy.� He managed to phrase the sentence �It just makes you really happy� about six or seven different ways when I was getting water for coffee.

Sensing that this could be a career limiting move for my boss (actually, just working here is a career limiting move), I changed the subject to how Aisai�s sister�s trailer in Louisiana has been overrun by bees. Seamlessly, this changing of the subject was, in fact.

Tboss�s �Praise of Ecstasy� to my �recreational drugs make you content� to TC�s �a friend of mine was depressed and tried that� to my �antidepressants unprescribed to someone who�s life sucked because they were perceiving life correctly and needed to take care of those things rather than ignore them� to the bee thing.

Currently, you aren�t allowed to kill honeybees since some mite killed off nearly all of them. Tboss was aware of this but I hadn�t really noticed. But, yeah, I haven�t seen a honeybee in years. I only get bumblebees around the house. They like the yoshino cherry (which only blooms for about 2 weeks a year) and everyone loves the butterfly bush.

If you are going to butterfly bush, I highly recommend the loche inch. It�s the frosty leaves and woodier trunk. And it doesn�t flop around like the other lame ones we have in the yard.

Yesterday, when I got home, I painted by back calipers red, washed my rear wheels on the inside since they were off, planted wisteria on two of the other posts of the arbor, and make a CD mix which I titled �Red Rotor Red Rotor Mix.�

Only hours later did I realize I should have called it Red Caliper mix, but the allusion to Red Rover Red Rover would be lost.

Oop.