Flava Flav Would Like My Mom's 80s Cars
1/17/3

I was so mentally prepared for snow today. I knew, deep inside me, that the weather people didn�t know what they were talking about. And yes, yet again, Huntsville City School let out early due to cold rain.

I actually did a locate during the cold rain. Granted, my paint probably just washed away, but I did get to see about four minutes of sleet when my van was at the Governors/Parkway red-light. At that time it was 35 degrees. By the time we got off work it was 38.

Now, it�s 24, but there�s no precipitation possible.

I stayed up moderately late filling out adoption paperwork. I was filling out my �daddy papers� for the home study. I managed to fill out twelve pages. Only a few questions stumped me:

�What traditions did you have growing up that you still keep today? Are there any new traditions?�

I�m not sure what they mean. I mean, Aisai and I had a Christmas tree. I know one year we skipped it though. And this year we had a very big one, about ten foot, but didn�t decorate it at all. It was so nice looking naturally, and besides, it was ten feet tall, I�m not going to decorate the bottom half of it, and I�m not getting a ladder out for a Christmas tree.

But filling out paperwork like this makes you realize how things changed in your life over time. When we lived on Versailles, in the small house, we always either had dinner at the kitchen table, or, as a special treat, got to eat on TV trays. I also remember we never had a coffee table in the Den. I�m not sure we had one in the Living Room.

Aisai and I have some of the cheap plastic 70s end tables that we had in the Living Room back on Versailles. In fact, I will at least once a year drive by my childhood home and see what bad repair it�s in. I wish I could buy that thing. But I�m not sure it�s not just a money pit at this point. I loved 10123 Versailles.

But then, when my family moved to Bluewood, to the big house, we never had dinner together. Now, that may have been a function of my sister and my ages, but I know that we were often still around the house. Mom had started working at that point. One of the things about the new, big house is that mom wanted to work so she could buy furniture to fill it. These were also the Cadillac years.

In Versailles, we had clunky stuff. Dad had an early 70s Bonneville, the kind you don�t see on the road anymore since the plastic nosecone broke off long ago and no one wants a car you can�t get parts to make it look ok. Then Mom got a Datsun 710, handed down to dad when mom got a Maxima. I don�t think that handed down to Dad. Dad had a Datsun 310 GX which I thought was sweet. I remember when we were looking at cars for Kelley in the early 80s that we tried to look for one for her, but they were all trashed. Mom also had the dubious honor of having one of the dreaded GM converted diesels. Oh, what a piece of crap.

By the time we made the move to Bluewood, Kelley had a orange 1982 Camaro, Mom was driving a red Caddy [a timeless classic for all pimps out there. If only mom listened to Public Enemy. Flava Flav, yeah!], and Dad had�I don�t remember. Shortly after the move Dad would get a Porsche 914 for me to learn how to drive in. Sweet, but a rust bucket. After that Dad had a 1985 Honda Accord LX. I got a 1978 Chevy Caprice Classic as my first car. By that time mom had some Giant Juggernaut Mother of a Caddy. It was silvery gold and pimps would bow down to it these days. It was one phat ride.

Then I got the Accord from Dad. Dad switched to Ford Aerostars and began his pine needle collecting vice that continues to this day. Mom made the switch from Caddys to Lexuses [Lexi?] and hasn�t varied much since.

In the �Lake Days� of Mom and Dad, long after I moved out after totaling the Accord and moving into the dorms sans car, Mom briefly, like for two years, had a BMW 740iL. It was the batmobile. Dad clearly loved it. It had nearly 400 hp but also weighted as much as some small countries. Aisai and I were embarrassed to be seen in it at times since we lived in a very poor area and then this car that a president of some company would have would drive up and take us to dinner, rarely, but it did happen.

Mom didn�t like the BMW. It was a driver�s car, the suspension was wonderful, you could roll over a dime and tell what side it was on, but in a comfortable way. Mom wanted goosh. She wanted the Lexus. And she�s had a LX300 lately. Low on power, high on goosh, and basically a jacked up Camry wagon.

Dad�s still doing the Ford Van thing. He has his Windstar with a tarp for collecting pine needles. Dad really needs to get a small pickup [at least 8 years used so he can trash it and not feel bad] and something like a Celica GT.

I�m driving a Miata now after going through a Mazda 323 and a Saturn SC2. Each car was the answer to the last one. The 323 was excellent in reliability, but lacked an air conditioner (yes, in Alabama) and didn�t have the hp (though I didn�t realize until it was gone that it did have the torque). The Saturn kept the same body weight and added 43 hp. However, it wasn�t too reliable and the plastic parts kept falling off. The Miata was a return to the Mazda ethic. It weighs within 100 lbs of the 323 and has the same hp as the Saturn, but with mucho low end torque. It�s also a convertible (duh) and is black with leather seats.

Aisai has always been a station wagon person. She first had a 1984 Chevy Celebrity wagon. We had that until about 1995 when we changed it for a Saturn SW2. The SW2 had auto everything, traction control, and abs. It was a nice car to drive through a hurricane in. And that came in handy. We felt that the payments were too high so we devolved back to a 1987 Camry Wagon, which was, in hindsight, a pretty good car, but didn�t make Aisai or me very happy due to it�s feeling of age. Then came my favorite Aisai car, the mafia car, the 626. The 626 was a rolling poop. A very fast rolling poop with a great suspension, and a freaky, powerful engine that only took premium unleaded. Aisai didn�t like it since it wasn�t a wagon. I didn�t like it since it couldn�t stay out of the repair shop. Eventually, a roving crackhead totaled Aisai�s car for her letting her move on to the Focus, her current car and nearly a perfect car. Thanks to Mazda�s technology from the 323 being taken by Ford, who owns Mazda, and being made into some semi-Germanic feeling wagon.

Aisai�s father was 42 when she was born. When he was alive, he collected Studebakers.

Yes, Studebakers.