Airports, Accurate Measurements, and Heuristic Beans
11/22/2

Oh, crap. How am I ever going to stay away for the next hour? I am so sleepy. I wonder if the combination of two cans of tuna and black-eyed peas is some heuristic sleep agent.

It�s not heuristic�homeopathic.

So, �what�s the haps?�you say.

Yesterday, Aisai�s mom got back from England where she was visiting Aisai�s sister, formerly known as Dinoback here, but I�m just going to call her by her real name from now on, Leeann. Dinoback was the yahoo nickname that she had a few years ago.

Well, I�m home and Aisai comes in. It�s about 4:30 and we head out. On the way to the airport, I ask, �So, what flight number and what time?�

Aisai responds, �I don�t know the flight number, but I think it comes in at 5:20.�

I grumble a little since I don�t like plans that don�t exist.

We get there and there is no flight at 5:20 at all. There is a 5:22 but it�s coming from Dallas, and I don�t think her London flight would connect through Dallas. Besides, that was a Delta, and she was on USAir.

I stay upstairs while Aisai goes down to the baggage check in things and asks the USAir gal which one her mom is on. The gal searches on the computer and says there is no itinerary for her mom at all that day. AKA, she�s not coming home today.

Aisai meets back up with me and then calls Tom. We didn�t have Leeann�s phone number to call and check if Mom actually got on the plane, plus our cell phones aren�t the right thing to use when calling overseas. They can probably do it, but at great expense.

The plan here is that Tom will drive down to Mom�s house (approx 600 feet�wait, I�ll measure it in my mapping program�door to door, it�s 401 feet) and use the memory button on her phone to call Leeann. Alas, Tom has no key to Mom�s house. Grrr.

We leave and drive to Aisai�s mom�s house�71,395 feet, as the crow flies�and call Leeann on Mom�s phone. Leeann gives us the flight number and tells us when Mom left and when she�s supposed to arrive, at 6:20 p.m. By now, it�s 5:40. We hit the road to go back to the airport.

Someone wrecked a white car into apparently nothing on 565 and we sat in traffic until 6:30. I dropped Aisai off and go park. The flight is delayed until 7:00 says the lady at the USAir desk to Asiai. But we can�t find it on the board.

You know, USAir went bankrupt for a reason. Because they suck.

Someone had typed the flight into the departures. I figured this out since (1) it was the same flight number (2) there was a flight number of that plus one leaving shortly after and (3) there were no USAir flights arriving and two leaving according to the board.

We were entertained as we waited by a fat redheaded little girl eating cheetos. It wasn�t a small bag, it was more than I�d want for a meal. A meal of nothing but cheetos. But note, said child is fat. A little fat fat fattie. Oh, she was grossing Asiai out. Her mother, Jabba with a perm, also ate, but out of a book store bag (what�..ever!) and read a book.

Oh, and the warm greeting the returning husband got from them. Sure, the fat kid ran and hugged daddy. But mom stayed seated and reading until he walked up and stood in front of her. She started complaining about stuff to him, and kept eating chips.

I asked a passerby if it was the USAir flight. It was. Aisai�s mom emerged. She�d been awake since 6 a.m. London time, AKA midnight our time. We ate at Applebee�s and the waitress was a cutie who shouldn�t be a waitress since she sucked at it. She got less than a five dollar tip from us, and that takes some doing. But my salmon (which cutie waitress pronounced with the L) was very good.

Another cutie waitress thing, when Aisai�s mom asked what the steamed vegetables were, the waitress said, �those things that are in a pod, and cucumbers, and other stuff.� It was actually snow peas, zucchini, and carrots.

Tonight, Aisai will go see an entertaining but forgettable Bond movie and hopefully get to sleep early. We�ve stayed up to nearly 11 every night. And I wake up at 5:30. However, even if we don�t, Aisai is going shopping early with her mom, so I�ll sleep in.

It�s been 11 days since I�ve played any GTA: Vice City, so maybe I�ll do that. I understand that if I steal a police uniform I can get the Apache helicopter off the military base and blow up cars from the air with the chain gun. Whooo!