Lawrence Drove A Fairlane
9/27/2

I got an email from a friend which contained the following lil' story. I changed the names to protect the freaky:

Last night it occurred to me that Lawrence, our year-long houseguest in 1991-92 owned a Fairmont. He was the son of a friend of my father who needed a place to live for "a few weeks." Those few weeks turned into some 12 months. Eventually his Fairmont died and he needed a replacement car. He was going to buy a nice used Jetta, but he needed a cosigner. Dad was going to offer, but then his banker said, "[Dad�s name], the guy's a bum." So Lawrence had to get a Renault Alliance instead.

When Lawrence moved out he bought my parents an entertainment center as a thank-you gift. Of course, my parents were soon getting calls from a furniture store looking for him.

Even though he was a bum, Mom liked Lawrence because he was a male stripper. He'd tan in a thong in the backyard. Many of the neighbors enjoyed this, too. Hmmm, that was around the same time Mom finally broke down and got eyeglasses.