Postwood's History of Dissecting Things
8/27/1
Did I ever mention that I went to a high school named after a dead astronaut? Well, I did.
Half the schools here are named after dead astronauts. We also have one named Challenger, after those dead astronauts, but my high school was named after one of the old school, �The Right Stuff� astronauts.
Which leads us to the topic of animal dissection, which I have done in said dead astronaut named high school.
I think the first thing we dissected was a worm. It�s a bit of a letdown to do a worm. I mean, heck, they have nothing interesting.
Frogs, it�s always on TV and in the movies. And I think dissecting frogs is one of the better animals to do. Mammals have too much emotional attachment to them and anything lower on the animal sophistication scale is just too lame. I suppose a fish could be done, but, uh, fish = lame.
And what is with the broad range of ages shown on TV doing frog dissection. In the Spielberg movie ET, Elliot, a 12ish year old, dissects frogs in class while ET drinks beer and watches porn.
ET didn�t watch porn. That would have really changed that scene.
[Postwood moves on before the humor gets more inappropriate.]
And I remember there was an X-files were these high school seniors were dissecting frogs. Are these the people who will be pumping gas for Elliot�s classmates?
The most advanced organisms I ever put knife to was a cat. My lab mates were Mitchell, Christine, and a psycho named Jackie. Jackie got us docked points by mutilating the cat. She cut it�s face off. I think she also tried to name it some odd name like Jennifer.
We called it Juicy the Wonder Cat. Juicy would not stop leaking everywhere. You could squeeze and squeeze that cat and it was chock full o� juice.
I didn�t like dissecting the cat. I think we got a C because of stupid old Jackie.
Jackie was in my homeroom and when my parents gave me my 1984 Honda Accord LX [which was cool since it was only 1986 at the time] she said, �You�ll just wreck it.�
This was really mean of her since I had, in fact, wrecked my 1978 Chevy Caprice a few times. It was a tank so I was never hurt, but I really didn�t like that I wrecked. Rain was always in the mix.
Hmm, I need to eat lunch.
And turn down the brightness on my monitor. Ooch, my eyes.