Ape Lincoln and Lower Lip Eating Rats
7/24/1
A few things I�m thinking about, and hopefully this will be a short Stuffo. Not that I value shortness�brevity is probably a better word. The secret to being a good writer is to be brief when you need to be.
I honestly just wing it as I�m writing. But I do have a few topics in mind today:
Ape Lincoln Thing
Yesterday, I go into Aint It Cool News and Harry Knowles is ranting about Matt Drudge giving away something from Planet of the Apes. He rants. He raves. He is Harry Knowles as he�s meant to be.
So I go to Matt Drudge�s website to see what he�s said about Planet d�Apes. Well, don�t get all shocked, but there seems to be a STATUE in the movie! It�s an APE! SITTING!
It�s kind of like the Lincoln Memorial.
SHOCKING!
Now, I�m sure that Harry and Matt have good reasons to overreact and make up stupid stories, like, maybe someone slipped them some cash so that the people who don�t use the popular press and aren�t being bombarded with Marky Mark and the Apey Bunch advertisements right now will still get the word that the Ol� Ape Planet movie is coming out this Friday.
Drudge�s article is the more pathetic of the two outrages, as he tries to make it sound like Abe Lincoln is an ape in the movie. Let�s think, shall we. It�s in the future. Abe, he lived in the past. Let�s do the math:
U + R = Dumb
Harry�s piece was a reactionary piece based on Drudge and he was furious that Drudge had given away part of the film. Uh, excuse me, Harry. Don�t you pine over every preview that comes out, grasping for little bits of info.
The other thing, a different topic, is the road rat.
Ike! Aisai just called me and told me her car�s check engine light came on!
No, really. And it started shimmying after that. She and her mom will take it to the Toyota dealer on her way to some seminar she has in 52 minutes.
Ok, the Rat. We�re driving south on Slaughter road and a little wildlife runs across the street in front of us. I slow down, nearly to a stop, and we watch it go by. It was a fluffy little rat. He was so cute.
Forest rats, who woulda thunk it.
I told Aisai that I�d love to give the cute little guy a kiss. It was noted that he would probably bite my lower lip, perhaps ripping it from my body and taking it back to feed it�s young ones. Then, due to my inappropriate affection toward a forest rat [but a really shiny, fluffy brown one, see] a whole race of lower lip eating rats would evolve.
The humor that would follow [concerning hoards of rats attacking small children on playground so they can eat fresh, bloody lower lips] seemed inappropriate.
Target opens tonight if you have an invite, which we do. Ooh, a Target. We do get 10% off as well as getting in a week before the Grand Opening. But with Aisai�s car on the fritz [and trust me, I think this time it�s on the real fritz], I think we�re going to have to pony up at least $�,000 dollars on this.
On the way to work, there was a state trooper about � mile in front of me. All the speeders were packed around him. I was at 70, the speed limit, and just watched American �sports cars� zip past me and then get in the clog. I was surprised that they were all American cars that did this, except for one, a 1995-1999 Celica.
Ah, and now for some decaf coffee.