Waking, Drown Rats, Neil Diamond, and Bootylicious Macaroni Grill
6/15/1

I�m listening to the song Brain Stew [Godzilla Remix] by Greenday. Today is one of my better screwed up days. But first, yesterday�

Aisai had the Dwarf Award, or whatever, and the theme was patterned after Fritz Lang�s Metropolis. Ok, so it�s not really a Dwarf Award, but I tell you, that was really the theme, or it seemed to be. It was actually more about the disrespect one can pay to artistic media while pretending to honor it. Aisai brought home the centerpiece for the table she was at. They had taken a Neil Diamond record and hot-glued little silver balloons to it and then attached a styrene foam cutout of a movie camera, and then some other cinema related excrement scattered around.

So they ruined a Neil Diamond LP for this. And not only that, but every table had one.

In related bizarreness, The Director asked me if I ever used to take rats and put them in jars of water and watch them die. He said that he used to. I said, �No, I�ve never done that. But I�ll keep a lookout for you from now on.�

Really, I actually said that. For some reason, he respects me a good deal because I don�t pretend he�s right like others do.

So, while Aisai is at the Dwarf Awards, I�m with the college age class at wings. Or actually, only four of us showed up: Another coordinator and his sister, and the gal that seems to like that coordinator.

I sat across from the gal who wasn�t coordinator dude�s sister. She is remarkably attractive, so I tended to avoid talking to her much. I�m married. Making cow eyes at the healthy, virtuous women is not acceptable.

So I talked to the other male about water quality and office politics. We also touched on poor quality seasonings. The gals were out for blood about the server being a slacker. I gave a 27% percent tip so I could round my money to an even 12. Coordinator gave a 36% tip, I can only assume because he is very generous or mathematically challenged.

I can always do money math. It�s like a reflex. I also get bent out of shape when losing at Monopoly.

Hey, guess what I ordered. Chicken Caesar Salad. Go figure.

I fought with Kai�s Photo Soap 2 when I got home. It makes very impressive web pages instantly but it�s so limited. I think I�ll put up some photos soon.

Aisai got home and we talked for a while and finally got to sleep at around 11:40. Not the best for a person who�s alarm is supposed to go off at 5:30.

�Mah mah mahr, mra mar muh muh�

That is what came out of the hallway leading to the garage at 6:11. I hopped up to see what the deal was. It was Mouse, our challenged cat, being herself. I looked at my watch.

I stood there for a good 10 seconds and contemplated the flow diagram of how to deal with the new variables I was faced with.

To get to work in time, I would have to be in the car in 10 minutes. I need to shower, but just putting on deodorant is satisfactory. Thank goodness my hair is less than � inch long. Food�I mention it to Aisai that we have no take-in-the-car food and I have no money. She gives me five ones. She says they are �smoker�s money� though I can�t detect anything but money smell on them.

I put on my glasses and clothes. I leave.

I�ve been meaning to write an entry about my clothes. I have very specific taste in clothing but you wouldn�t know by looking at me. I�ve very utilitarian in all things�but I�ll do an entry on that later.

Last week, I noticed that McDonald�s had breakfast burritos for 99 cents. I ordered two on the way into work. They gal said $2.63. Whatever, that�s fine, who cares. Labman says that now it�s the Eggs Benedict McMuffin that is 99 cents.

I eat them in the lab. The Collector says that Harry Knowles hated Tomb Raider. I notice that Ebert really liked it. I�ll see how I like it the afternoon. Aisai is taking off early and we�ll see a matinee.

Another person told me how wonderful Macaroni Grill is today. It was T-boss, a vegetarian.

There are two constants in my life: Someone will tell me how much I�ll like Macaroni Grill and I won�t be able to go 24 hours without hearing someone say bootylicious.