The Curse of the Ottogi Peking Chajang Noodle Bowl
4/20/1

Geeh! Gah! Fuh!

The ramen that I got which didn�t have any English letters on the side was bad. What were they thinking? Yuck.

The taste they were trying for, and succeeded pretty much with, was that of beef fat. It was nasty.

The first response to my seeing the flavor powder in the packet was �Holy Cow!�. However, I decided to add the boiling water and wait three minutes. I assumed three was the right time, since there were no instructions and bowl noodle hot and kimchi bowl noodle are three minutes.

First bite/slurp: �The noodles are a little looser and less gummy than I like and the flavor is�odd. Maybe I�m not tasting this right.�

Second bite/slurp: �Oh, now�maybe they didn�t add enough salt. This sure has a heavy flavor. What does that taste like? It�s beef, but there�s something different. Not many spices at all.�

Final bite/slurp: �It�s fat. This is some archaic freak soup left over from the age of starvation in Korea. It�s beef fat. It has plenty of salt and I can taste it perfectly.�

I took the bowl to the men�s room and let the toilet in the handicapped stall have my 540 calories of tallowy pleasure.

There was another gag moment today at work. I was telling my boss about why I only eat Mexican food at Guadalajara. Mostly it�s just loyalty, but I used to only eat it at another place. That was before they served me the chicken fin.

Chicken fin? What are you talking about, Postwood?

Oh, you know. You just don�t want the synapses to make that connection.

I�m eating my chicken taco or some other soft tortillaed foodstuff that you can lift with your hand, and all of the sudden I have the cartilaginous breastbone of a chicken in my mouth.

That�s enough of that story. I�m eating honey-roasted soybeans now and I�d like to keep them around.

And am I protein loading today or what. I was running late so I had some of my protein drink. Each scoop has 17 grams of protein and I put two scoops in each glass. Eight ounces of milk has 12 or so, and my glass holds around 14 oz. And I had two glasses, so that�s 104 grams of protein. Now I�m eating soybeans. The package contains 170 grams and a 30 g serving has 10g of protein, so that�s 57 grams there, for a total of 160 grams of protein and only 1350 calories.

Now, the blue crab ramen from yesterday was quite good, but not so good that I feel the need to pay $2 a bowl for it again. The kimchi bowl noodle is only around 75 cents a bowl and I like it very much.

I was going to have some shin ramen after the beef fat ramen, but thought better of it. It was either pretzels or soybeans. I needed something dry.

And last night at home I tried the rice punch. I shook it well, as it directed, and started drinking. Nice flavor, but what are these things in my teeth? Pieces of rice floating about make for an odd drink. It drank most of it until I got to the bottom. The rice wasn�t floating. Those must have been rogue grains I had gotten earlier. Most of the rice was on the bottom, and very glutinous I might add.

It was a really pretty can but I didn�t keep it since I wasn�t going to chew my way through any drink. That and, oh, like I need to start collecting Korean rice punch cans.

Note: The spellchecker wanted to change �tortillaed� into �titillated�. Also, the name of the ramen is "Ottogi Peking Chajang Noodle Bowl".