Not The Most Brilliant "All About Me"
10/5/1

NAME: Postwood

CITY/TOWN: Madison, Alabama

COUNTRY: USA

AGE: 32

D.O.B: October 18, 1968

SEX: Male

HAIR COLOUR: Medium Brown with some grey at the temples.

EYE COLOUR: Hazel, actually green in the middle and brown on the outsides, but I hopefully have some blue contacts coming for my birthday. I’m all about cheap novelty and these are only $30 for three sets of disposables.

HEIGHT: 5'11½

WEIGHT: I find this question a little intrusive. Let’s just say that I feel that the number is just a tad higher than I’d like to tell you. If I weighted 20 lbs less, I’d sing the number from the mountain tops. If I could lose 30 lbs of fat and replace it with 10 lbs of muscle, I’d look like a superhero, but not a really buff one, more like Aquaman.

FRECKLES?: A few.

BRACES/GLASSES?: I had braces from 7th grade to just a few days before 9th grade started. I got glasses once in college, but had been needing them for a few years. Now I wear contacts mostly, but if there’s allergy things going on [like the stupid trees now] then I might wear my glasses.

MUSIC

FAVORITE BAND (s): That Ben Folds CD that just came out is really good. On vacation, I got a deeper appreciation for the last Filter CD. The problem with naming my all time favorite bands is that I don’t listen to them anymore, at all. I actually almost hate Yes, but I have nearly all of their albums. Pink Floyd seems boring since I know every note of every song. Tears for Fears fell apart in the early 1990s and doesn’t make new music anymore. Oh, but Alanis Morissette hasn’t let me down yet.

FAVORITE SONG OF THE MOMENT(s): I think it would be called “It Sucks To Grow Old” by Ben Folds. It’s like the third track on his new album. I’ll look it up at cdnow. Actually, it’s called “Still Fighting It”. And the pianowork on “The Ascent of Stan” which should have been called “Textbook Hippie Man” [since he says it so much] is brilliant.

FAVORITE SINGER (s): Today, it’s Ben Folds. But, Ben, quit cursing on my music.

FAVORITE ALBUM (s): Today, it’s Rockin’ The Suburbs.

SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOU OR THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO: At first I said “Superman’s Dead” by Our Lady Peace, but then I looked up the lyrics. I tend to think of that song as being about the realization that you aren’t that special. They always tell you that you are when you’re young, but even then you wonder how they can tell everyone that. Yes, we are all special, but...you see...it’s normal.

TV/MOVIES

FAVORITE TV SHOW (s): Why why why does my new Star Trek have to suck? Well, maybe...oh, who are we kidding. That new Enterprise is a steaming poo. Ok, favorites would be Buffy, Home Movies, Dead Last, Futurama, Alias looks good so far, The Mole, Survivor when it starts. I guess that’s about it. I’ll also start getting News Radio starting on Thursday when A & E starts the show from the beginning.

LEAST FAVORITE TV SHOW: Any of those brainwashing Oprah clones or maybe some of those scaremongering 20/20 clones.

FAVORITE MOVIE (s): Oh, I like a few. In the last year, AI, Final Fantasy...I’d have to look at my ticket stubs, which I keep all of.

LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE: The worst movie I’ve ever seen was The Avengers. However, I might just possibly dislike Natural Born Killers more.

FAVORITE ACTOR (s): It’s hard to think about it. I like Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, Sam Jackson, oh, it’s to hard to try to remember movies that I like, even harder to remember who was in them.

FAVORITE ACTRESS (s): Probably Claudia Black from Farscape and Pitch Black. And Rachel Lee Cook is a pleasant, wholesome appearing gal. That Star Wars queen gal, but man, she’s picking crap for movies. Oh, and Brigette Fonda, though she rarely pops up in really excellent roles since she really doesn’t play the game in Hollywood.

FAVORITE CARTOON SHOW: Home Movies.

FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER: Currently, it’s Jason, the freaky kid, from Home Movies.

LEAST FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER: What, actual dislike? I’m not sure I have that strong of feelings for any...Oh, wait. There is a bakshi-esqe cartoon that I detest. But as far as a character who makes me flinch, Coach McGurck from Home Movies has George from Seinfeld almost beat.

FOOD

FAVORITE FOOD (s): I like many different foods. I tend to gravitate to those foods I can’t get normally. Some of my favorites are fish and liver, very catlike.

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Tarragon, it’s a spice.

FAVORITE JUICE: Juice? Sorry, I’m not brainwashed by the consumer society’s machine into thinking that juice is more than just sugar water. But, eh, do they make strawberry juice. That would be good.

FAVORITE POP: Pop? Oh, you crazy different regional person. The sodas, or where I am they’re all called cokes, that I like are Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Dr. Pepper. I’ll also do a Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi on occasion.

FAVORITE FRUIT: Blueberries.

FAVORITE VEGETABLE: Sweet Potatoes.

FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Uh, I’d say Guadalajara, but I am off the “Let’s Get Fatter” kick. The restaurant that we eat at most is Tia’s, a chain owned by the same people that own Olive Garden. I don’t like liking Tia’s. I’d say the Restaurant that I like the best, but don’t eat at much, is Duffy’s Deli, a hole in the wall place a little south of Downtown. You must get the tortilla soup in a bread bowl.

LEAST FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Rosie’s. Sheesh, I can’t stand them since everyone thinks they are good and they suck suck suck, so bad. They are a chain of Mexican restaurants which use velveeta constantly and don’t use any spices. I got a chicken quesadilla which was, really, as lame as the ones they have at Taco Bell now.

PEOPLE

WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND: That would be The Wife.

WHO ARE YOUR GOOD FRIENDS?: TC is my work friend. Zoë and Andre are by best internet friends. There are church friends and Aisai’s family. None are really terribly close, since Aisai is my best friend.

WHO IS YOUR LONGEST FRIEND?: Matt Sisk has been my friend since first grade. We still maintain contact via email periodically, but I haven’t seen him in over eight years.

WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU MISS THE MOST?: Aisai’s Dad.

WHO ARE YOUR BEST ONLINE FRIENDS: Ooh, I should have read ahead since we’re getting catagorical. Zoë, Andre, Jody, and some minor diarylanders I contact rarely. Some I don’t email very often since, them being female, I am not sure if it is appropriate for me to have some online platonic harem of gals I write to.

WHO DO YOU HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD?: I’m not fond of Hitler, if that’s what you mean. I’d like there to be some justice with those terrorists.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN TO HIM/HER/THEM?: Justice.

IF YOU COULD, WOULD YOU KILL THEM?: Some scenarios are outside the bounds of what my mind can comprehend without first hand experience.

HOW WOULD YOU DO IT (if yes): Carefully.

DO YOU HAVE A BOY/GIRL FRIEND?: My wife won’t allow it. [Zapato is my girlfriend.]

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE: I’m always alive when I meet people.

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD WHO WOULD IT BE: I don’t care who I meet when I’m dead. Hopefully, they treat my corpse with some respect.

WHO IS YOUR IDOL?: Baal. [That’s a joke.]

CLOTHES

FAVORITE DESIGNER: Oleg Cassini makes some nice jeans, but I buy cheap ones. I like some Old Navy stuff. I think you’re asking the wrong guy.

ARE YOU 'TRENDY': I’m timelessly stylistic without neglecting some of the social fashion norms.

DO YOU TRY TO BE TRENDY: No.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: My Asics [since I hurt my feed walking all around the 1.3 million square foot Target Distribution Center yesterday], white socks, green jeans, black boxer briefs, my white Sony shirt, and a Saudi Arabian black nylon jacket. I’m very slouchy looking in a high tech way today.

SPORTS

FAVORITE SPORT: Japanese Sumo and FIA World Rally. My favorites are Takanohana and that new kid, Asashoryu. My favorite rally racer is Colin McRae [Ford], but if he doesn’t win, then Richard Burns [Subaru], or any of the Peugot Drivers. I would really prefer that Tommi Makenen [Mitsubishi] didn’t win anymore.

SPORT YOU'RE BEST AT: Is the Playstation game Gran Turmismo a sport?

SPORT YOU'RE WORST AT: That would have to be some kind of Hai’Lai performed on ice skates.

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM: I really liked the logo of the Channel Cats, our hockey team, but now they are the Huntsville Razors or something stupid. I also used to like the UAH Chargers, also a hockey team [UAH doesn’t have football], but now I just don’t care.

FAVORITE ATHLETE: Everybody likes Mike.

WHAT SPORT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY: Oh, I’d love to be a Rally driver.

FUTURE

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM OCCUPATION: Being an Engineer on Star Trek [if Star Trek was real] would be ok. But the pay sucks.

WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS: Uh, you want this in one line? Live modestly and reproduce.

WHAT CAREERS ARE YOU INTERESTED IN: My career feels like a job.

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE LIVING IN THE FUTURE: Well, we have family here. But I’d love to try some other places out to see how I liked them for a few years and then settle somewhere. I tend to like Texas quite a bit.

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS?: Yes.

HOW MANY: How many can I afford to feed and have enough time to spend with them?

GIRLS OR BOYS: Sure.

FUTURE CHILDREN NAMES: I’m very fond of Olivia right now. I can’t ever get a boy name that Aisai and I will agree on unless it’s borderline like Owen or Ewen, or something like that. Kaori is a definate female middle name.

DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?: Again? No. I’m fine in this one, but thanks for asking.

OPINIONS:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?: Well, I really was attracted to Aisai when I first met her, but I think that is because she was a hottie.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS?: I think it’s doubtful we’ll find intelligent life.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Ah, the definitions bog us down on this, but overall, uh, no comment.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN HEAVEN: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN HELL: Yes.

HUNTING - SPORT OR MURDER: Sport, or are we hunting people?

MARIJUANA - SHOULD IT BE LEGAL OR ILLEGAL?: I’d vote to keep it illegal, personally.

WILL THERE BE A WW3: We won’t call it that.

IS THE DEATH PENALTY FAIR?: Yes.

CHICKEN OR EGG - WHAT CAME FIRST?: Chicken. Duh.

ANY LAST REMARKS?: Coffee is good.